Hand of Ananke

Meandering thoughts, random rhyme and verse, and poetic prose all in an attempt to understand the universe.
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Hey folks, sorry about last week, but Hand of Ananke is back and I have a new Friday Nite Poetry for you. Sorry if it is a bit morose this week, that has been my mood. Hope you enjoy them in any case.

The Longest Queue

When do I get my turn
to feel…

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I try not to think
about every mistake
misstep
missed chance
misspoken word
the thousand little ways
I complicate us

Focus on the good
everyone tells me
as if positive thought
was a force unto itself
an unstoppable engine
to drive me toward success
or at least a better place

Speaking of driving
I passed the exit again
stayed on the highway
lonely
long
dark
and dreary

I like it here though
the familiarity feels safe
even as I hit the gas
and the momentum
presses against my chest
like an epee sinking
ever deeper
to pierce my heart
and relieve some pressure

It makes a bloody mess
when it finally gets there
and I have no idea
how to clean it up
or even if I should

I earned this 
the sticky
sickly
grotesque
paint I now wear

The reminder
of what I need to do
but ever lack the courage 

When do I get my turn
to feel someone’s smile
as much
if not more
than see it?

When do I get my turn
to know I am the reason
for that smile
to read love
in their eyes?

When do I get my turn
to have my quaking hands
trusted
with the heart
of another?

When to I get my turn
to experience my heart
accepted
as a gift
not a burden?

When do I get my turn
to join skin against skin
an hour or two
of sweaty joy
and giddy laughter?

When do I get my turn
to be wanted as much as I want
to be prized
to be worthy
to be happy?